Why Do We Always Lose Sh*t? The ADHD Mystery Files

“It was Colonel Mustard … in the kitchen … with the candlestick.”

Except this wasn’t Clue. This was real life — and instead of solving a murder, we were trying to crack the case of my husband’s missing DnD dice.

Welcome to adulting with ADHD, where every day is a mystery, your house is full of unsolved cases, and your brain is both the lead detective and the prime suspect.

As an adult with ADHD, a mom of at least 2 kiddos with ADHD (jury is still out on our youngest) and a husband with ADHD, I know all too well the annoyance of constantly searching for stuff I’ve lost.

My family spent a week turning the house upside down to find my husband’s wayward DnD dice. Checking drawers, bags, inside our couch (which eats EVERYTHING), behind the cats — full-scale investigation.

And where did I finally find them? Behind a Squishmallow.

This experience inspired today’s post (and podcast episode). Because ADHD brains are basically mystery generators — we’re constantly losing things, forgetting what we’re doing, and accidentally creating chaos without even realizing it.

Today, we’re investigating what’s behind those everyday ADHD mysteries, such as:

Let’s explore why it happens, what’s going on in your brain, and some ADHD-friendly tips that might actually help you find your lost stuff — or at least lose it in better places.

Inattention

Let’s start with inattention.

And yeah, okay, that feels obvious — ADHD, attention issues, blah blah blah. But it’s more than just “I got distracted by a squirrel.” This one’s got layers. Like lasagna. Or the laundry pile I keep pretending I don’t see.

Here’s what’s really happening: your body is doing the thing… but your brain isn’t there. Like, you’re putting your keys down, or taking your meds, or throwing your socks in the hamper — but mentally? You’re already on to something else.

You’re thinking about:

• The email you forgot to send
• Whether you left the oven on
• Having a full-blown imaginary argument with your spouse about something they might say later
• Or, my personal favorite: wondering what life would be like if you disappeared into the woods, became a hermit, and spent your days reading by a fireplace with zero responsibilities and a steady supply of cheese

So yeah. The keys got put down. The sock got tossed somewhere. But your brain didn’t really log it. It was off on its own adventure.

It’s like your brain is the camera operator in a movie — and it just panned away dramatically while the important stuff was happening off-screen.

And then later, when you’re tearing apart the house trying to find your water bottle, your brain’s like, “Ohhhh, was I supposed to catch that part? My bad.”

Impulsivity

Now let’s talk about impulsivity. Impulsivity in ADHD shows up in the tiny, everyday moments where we just… do something… without really thinking it through.

And not in a reckless, skydiving-without-a-parachute way — more like, “I’ll just put this here for now and then come back later and put it away”… only to never again think about it.

Like, maybe you’re holding your keys while unpacking groceries, and you randomly shove them in the freezer next to the waffles. Because in that moment, your hands were full and your brain was like, “This is fine. We’ll definitely remember this later.”

(Cue the narrator) We will definitely not remember.

Impulsivity also shows up as saying “yes” to something before checking your calendar. Or deciding to start three tasks at once with zero plan. Or thinking, “I’ll just quickly scroll Instagram” and waking up in a different century.

It’s not about being careless — it’s that ADHD brains are wired for speed, not deliberation. We act fast. We move fast. Our brains are constantly shifting gears without warning. And sometimes that means putting your sunglasses in the pantry because your brain was ready to jump to the next thing and didn’t want to take time to stop and go put them where you normally keep them.

The result? Total mystery object placements and a deep, personal connection to the phrase “How the f*ck did this end up here?”

Working Memory

Alright, let’s talk about working memory. Working memory is basically the RAM of your brain.

If you’re not a computer person, here’s what that means: Working memory is where your brain temporarily holds the stuff you’re actively using — like, “I’m going to switch the laundry,” “I need to call the doctor after this,” or “Don’t forget the thing. You know the thing. The…uh, what was I saying?”

Working memory is your brain’s scratchpad. Or its browser tabs. It’s the space where you’re mentally juggling a handful of short-term tasks and ideas… until your brain hits refresh and they all vanish into the void.

You think, “I’m going to start the laundry,” and by the time you get to the washing machine, your brain has already erased that plan and replaced it with, “Oh hey, I should text Sarah back,” or “Did raccoons evolve independently on different continents?”

And suddenly you’re standing in the laundry room, staring at the washer, no clue why you’re there, holding a rogue sock and for some reason probably the TV remote.

Working memory issues might be why you:

• Open your phone to check the weather and end up watching a video of a capybara eating watermelon
• Forget the one thing you went to the store for, even though you said it to yourself out loud in the parking lot
• Start five tasks at once and finish none of them, because each one quietly slipped off the mental whiteboard the second something new showed up

It’s not that we’re flaky. It’s not a motivation issue. It’s that sometimes our brain just doesn’t hold onto stuff long enough to follow through without help.

This is why external tools help so much — writing things down, setting reminders, using visual cues — because if it’s not in front of us, our brains will absolutely pretend it never existed. We have to get it out of our head before it vanishes into the abyss.

So the next time your brain crashes mid-task, just know: it’s not you — it’s your RAM. And it desperately needs a sticky note… and probably a snack.

Object Permanence

And finally — let’s talk about object permanence. Yes. That thing we learned about with babies. And also… the thing our ADHD brains seem to have never mastered.

Object permanence is your brain’s ability to remember that something exists even when it’s not right in front of your face. For people with ADHD, out of sight = erased from the universe.

You put something in a drawer? It’s gone. Tucked your meds into the cabinet so they’d be “out of the way”? Cool, you just guaranteed you’ll forget they exist until three months from now. Put a bill under a stack of mail? It has entered the Bermuda Triangle, never to be seen or heard from again.

It’s not that we don’t care about these things — it’s that if our brain doesn’t see it, it doesn’t remember to care.

This is another reason why visual cues are everything. Why you need to store things in clear bins, not baskets of mystery. Why “putting something away” sometimes needs to mean “putting it somewhere your eyes and brain might notice it still exists.”

And this is where all the “leave it somewhere weird on purpose” hacks come in:

• Put the thing you need to bring tomorrow on your shoes
• Put your meds on the coffee maker
• Balance your planner on your cat if it helps (Okay, maybe not that last one. Cats hold grudges.)

The point is, we’re not forgetful because we’re careless. We’re forgetful because our brains don’t always hold on to things that aren’t visually or physically in front of us. So don’t be afraid to make your environment loud and obvious and a little weird. Make your space work for you.

Greatest Hits of ADHD Mysteries

Alright, now that you know your brain is running low RAM, disappearing objects with its mind, and time-traveling through intrusive thoughts… let’s talk about the real-life mysteries this creates. These are the unsolved cases in the ADHD True Crime Files — except the only crime is how often we lose our damn phones.

🕵️‍♀️ Case #1: “Where’s My Phone?”

You tear apart your bag. You check every room. You ask your husband. Who gently reminds you that you are talking to him … on the phone.

🧦 Case #2: “The Sock That Escaped”

You swear you put two socks in the laundry. You know you did. So where the hell is the other one?

It’s somehow inside a hoodie sleeve. Or clinging to the bottom of a bedsheet. Or just … gone. Poof. Maybe it transcended to a higher plane of existence. We may never know.

(To be fair, this one may not be just an ADHD thing.)

🔑 Case #3: “The Keys I Just Had”

You walked in the door. You had them in your hand. And then you blinked and they vanished.

You find them later in the fridge. Or in the pantry. Or under a dog toy, next to a granola bar, and you have no memory of putting them there.

🚪 Case #4: “Why Did I Walk In Here Again?”

You enter a room with purpose. Determination. You cross the threshold … and your brain wipes the mission like a corrupted video game file.

Now you’re just standing there, trying to reverse-engineer your own logic like an amnesiac Sherlock Holmes.

📱 Case #5: “I’ll Just Check This One Thing Real Quick”

You open your phone to check the weather. Half an hour later, you’re deep into a YouTube rabbit hole about how jellyfish poop, and your laundry still isn’t started.

Also, it’s raining now and you didn’t roll the windows up on your car. Probably.

Why It’s Not Your Fault (and Also, Maybe Kinda Funny)

So, you might be laughing along right now, but also secretly thinking, “Okay, but seriously — how is this my actual life? Am I just a disaster of a human?”

No. You’re not. You’re a delightfully chaotic ADHD human. And all of this? It makes sense when you know how your brain works.

None of these “mysteries” are about you being lazy or careless or irresponsible. They’re about inattention pulling your focus, impulsivity making you act fast without thinking it through, working memory straight-up ghosting you mid-task, and object permanence issues making things disappear in the blink of an eye. Put them all together and you’ve got a perfect storm of “Where are my pants and why am I holding a spoon?”

And yeah, it can be frustrating. Like, deeply frustrating. You waste time. You feel scattered. You lose stuff and then spiral into shame because everyone else seems to be functioning like a fully upgraded adult while you’re struggling.

But sometimes, this mess is also kind of hilarious.

I once found the butter in the pantry. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve been absolutely convinced that my glasses had been kidnapped by evil little gnomes but it turns out they were on top of my head.

And if I had a dollar for every time I told myself “I’ll remember this later” while fully knowing I have the memory retention of a flea, I’d be at least a millionaire by now.

We have to laugh — not because it’s not hard, but because we deserve to feel human in the hard stuff.

ADHD brains are wired differently, and most of us weren’t given the manual growing up. So now we get to write our own, with duct tape, memes, and maybe a brightly-colored label maker.

You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re a mystery-solving badass navigating a brain that’s getting by every day on a wing and a prayer.

Strategies for Surviving the Hunt for That Thing I Lost

aka: How to lose fewer things and maybe feel a little less like a hot mess express.

Okay, so you’ve got a brain that forgets where it put stuff the second it’s out of sight. Cool cool cool. Here’s what we don’t do: we are not going try to “just be more mindful” or “try harder to remember.” (No. That’s not a strategy. That’s delusion.)

Here’s what we do instead:

1. Embrace Point of Performance Storage

Put stuff where you use it. Not where it looks nice. Not where your mom told you it belongs. Meds go by the coffee maker if that’s your morning stop. Dog leash? Hang it by the door. If you have to walk across the house to find the same thing every day, that’s a sign your storage system is set up for Past You’s fantasy self, not Present You’s chaos.

2. Visual Cues > Hidden Systems

If you can’t see it, you’ll forget it exists. So skip the cute matching baskets with lids and go for clear bins that let your brain say, “Oh hey, there’s the thing!”

3. Leave Stuff in Weird Places (But On Purpose)

If you want to remember something later, leave it in a place that interrupts your autopilot.

These aren’t “weird habits.” They’re brain support systems disguised as chaos.

4. Externalize Your Brain

If you think, “I’ll totally remember this later,” tell your brain, “No, you f*ckin’ won’t.” And I say that lovingly, but also seriously.

Whatever it takes to get the thing out of your head and into the real world before it vanishes into the ADHD void.

5. Make It Frictionless

The less effort it takes to keep up a system, the more likely you’ll actually use it.

• Hooks by the door
• A bin for your keys and wallet
• A drop zone where your family leaves their stuff

ADHD strategies don’t have to be cute. They have to be functional. Create systems that are easy to use when your brain is fried.

Your Turn!

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in a place it absolutely didn’t belong? Your planner in the freezer? Your deodorant in the pantry? That one sock that turned up inside a cereal box?

Email me at kim@levelupmyadhd.com or find me on Instagram so I can laugh with you — not at you, with you. Pinky swear.

Let’s normalize this chaos. We’re not alone.

Remember This

Here’s your reminder before we wrap up: Losing stuff, forgetting things, walking into a room and suddenly feeling like you just got hit with a memory black hole — that’s not you being lazy. That’s your brain doing its very ADHD thing.

And yeah, it’s annoying. But it’s also manageable. With a few weird tricks and a little humor, you can build a life that works for your brain.

Some of these mysteries? They make life a little more interesting. And at the end of the day, you’re doing the best you can with a brain that’s writing its own rulebook, and then ignoring all the damn rules.

If this post made you feel a little more human — or at least made you laugh — subscribe to my newsletter or share this with your favorite fellow loser of all the things. You never know whose missing sock you might help find.

Until next time — and remember: the planner is probably in the freezer.